emotional detachment - part 2

emotional detachment (noun) : the very positive mental attitude of politely saying "fuck you" to the emotional needy and greedy people in your life
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It's called setting boundaries, yo.

This type of detachment allows you to be aware of your of empathetic feelings without simply acting on them. Basically, the awareness gives you the time and space to rationally choose whether or not to be overwhelmed or manipulated by such feelings. So you can still feel empathy, but you no longer need to be the doormat.

And from one (hopefully) former enabler of sociopaths and narcissists, this is a good thing.

emotional detachment - part 1

emotional detachment (noun) : the ability to "check out" in the face of potential emotional connection, usually due to some psychological trauma
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Sometimes in order to survive some really bad shit, we learn to detach from the emotional reaction to it.

The skill (and for anyone who has ever daydreamed during a reprimand at school, this indeed is a skill) allows us to be physically present without being "entirely present". Think a couple of my favourite movies - 'Harvey' and 'The Secret Life of Walter Mitty,' and my favourite as yet unpublished screenplay, 'My Life With Derek Jeter' (which remains available for optioning!). Basically, these folks seem to be distracted or not paying full attention when faced with the possibility of an emotional response to an unpleasant situation.

Another version of this detachment manifests itself by the person appearing to be fully present, but operating only intellectually and rationally when an emotional connection would be most appropriate. This is where the person can't give you a hug when you're down, but instead tells you to "buck up." Or can't hold you when you're sobbing but simply pats you on the back. (I'm sure there are movie references for this too but they're not as fun!)

So what, you say?

Just an awareness check for those of you who are or know someone emotionally detached. (Mother's Day is coming up, you know.) And a little plug for a great screenplay.