emotional detachment - part 2

emotional detachment (noun) : the very positive mental attitude of politely saying "fuck you" to the emotional needy and greedy people in your life
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It's called setting boundaries, yo.

This type of detachment allows you to be aware of your of empathetic feelings without simply acting on them. Basically, the awareness gives you the time and space to rationally choose whether or not to be overwhelmed or manipulated by such feelings. So you can still feel empathy, but you no longer need to be the doormat.

And from one (hopefully) former enabler of sociopaths and narcissists, this is a good thing.

Sociopath

sociopath (noun) : the biggest prick you didn’t realize you knew who causes great harm with no remorse or sense of responsibility; syn: my ex-husband
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Hot on the heels of narcissist comes the sociopath!

While not all narcissists are sociopaths, all sociopaths are indeed narcissists. And although the sociopath apparently suffers from what’s called, “antisocial personality disorder" (which apparently is NOT being eliminated next year from the DSM as a personality disorder), that’s no excuse for these jerks to get away with the crap that they do through their lies and manipulations and total disregard for the rights of others or consequences of their actions.

The most well-known category of sociopaths are serial killers/serial rapists, so the big question is why would anyone be involved with one of these creeps? Well, research has shown that the sociopath is usually a person with an abundance of charm and wit, someone who appears friendly and considerate and loving. So we are lulled into the relationship by these seemingly great attributes, unaware that these attributes are superficial and are used merely as a way of blinding us to the nasty personal agenda behind the sociopath’s behaviour.

So if you happen to lack feelings of sympathy, have no sense of remorse, and don’t feel guilt, then this is the disorder for you!

And why would you want to be cured when you can do anything you want without those feelings and still be considered charming and witty?

The Super Ego

super ego (noun) : the part of one's psyche that is fitted with a cape and a complex
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Don't be fooled - in therapy, you really don't speak in terms of id, ego and super ego. These represent terms that the analyst knows and understands but rarely uses with the analysand (you). Instead, in therapy you talk about your feelings (after first actually letting yourself have those feelings) and it's the feelings that are associated with these terms.

So the poor, mis-named super ego really represents guilt. Nothing super about it. Sure, it may keep us all (or those of us who are not socio- or psychopaths) on the correct path within society's requirements, but it does so at a cost.

Freud apparently associated it with fathers, which is a bit confusing, since most guilt inevitably comes from mothers. But that's Freud for you. Not that he's kind to mothers; he associates them with feelings of fear (and mostly fear of castration). A bit too much in the way of 'feelings' for this post.