Shrinking away in NYC

psychoanalysis (noun) : confession without absolution
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As with any story, it opens with a random beginning. A dark and stormy night. A woman walking or sitting on a train or a bus, alone, not noticing or not caring about her surroundings. A look on her face like she wants to flee. Maybe a tear, a shudder or some other pained expression. Etc.

And so starts therapy.

The problem with starting therapy - the desperation surrounding the admission that things are not all right, the hopelessness with the situation at hand (usually life itself), the anger and frustration stemming from all the wrongs done by others against you as well as all those decisions made by you, the excessive drinking or drugging or other obliterating habit - is that you never think about the ending of therapy. Like any relationship, you don't think it will end. It's all about how it's going to work.

My ten-year anniversary with psychoanalysis is upon me and I realize that my therapist’s first child has begun and finished college (with a year abroad, mind you) during my tenure with him. The fact that I partially funded this is not lost on me, especially since I had to maximize student loans to fund my own education. Each year, I plan to end therapy and each year, I seem to listen to my therapist and stay with it for yet another issue to resolve. This year I have a child of my own to think about who will need money to spend abroad. (In therapy-speak, that would be my inner child. Alexander, move over - Australia, here I come!)

Therapy, or psychoanalysis or talk therapy as it's known, is supposed to teach you how to handle life/people/issues/emotions, in a more productive way. When does anyone reach a point where that handling goes well 100% of the time? Even therapists don't - it's not human! But the therapists won't say what percentage on average is good enough to end therapy because that means they don't do their jobs better than that percentage. In the end, that means that if the percentage or the feeling behind the percentage is good enough for you, then you're done.

And since I have gotten over 50% of my life/people/issues/emotions more productively handled after my decade “on the couch,” it's time to take my money and run. This blog represents my years with Dr. Freud's theories - I’m not sure it’s for everyone and I’m not sure it works, but I am sure that I’m not funding my therapist’s second child’s college education.