the great pumpkin strikes again

alter ego (noun) : what you dress up as on Halloween
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Happy Halloween!

what have you done with your hair?

passive aggressive (adjective) : a type of behavior or personality characterized by indirect resistance to the demands of others and an avoidance of direct confrontation
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Passive aggressive behavior has always been a bit difficult for me to recognize. (Much like my ability to pronounce the word, "narcissist" - for years I called the flowers, 'Paperwhites' because I couldn't say the word correctly). Neither is a coincidence, believe me.

Sure, the definition might sound simple - a non-active form of anger such as pouting, passive obstructionism, chronic lateness, asking things like, "You're not going out like that, are you?", sulking, stubbornness, and intentional procrastination when these behaviors are motivated by the intent of irritating or getting back at another person - but there are sooooo many ways to indirectly express anger, and passive aggressive people are very, very good at this behavior.

The key now for me is to recognize when I'm triggered to feel aggressive or angry, and then examine what triggered me, whether it was someone's behavior, and what about that behavior did the trick.

Not easily done when you're angry, but practice makes perfect, right?

laughter [oddly] revisited

laughter (noun) : the experience or manifestation of mirth, amusement, scorn, or joy
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In doing a bit of follow-up research on laughter therapy, I discovered that a couple of years ago, a group of health professionals at the Edinburgh Centre of Health and Wellbeing "prescribed" comedy DVDs to patients with depression. The health workers even put on a stand-up comedy show in the Edinburgh Queens Hall which was filmed and the film later handed out to GP surgeries across the country.

The aim was to give people with depression an alternative to antidepressants.

http://www.scotsman.com/news/health_staff_prescribe_comedy_for_patients_with_depression_1_1222777

Funny thing (pun intended) - there is no follow up research reported on how this all worked out for the Centre's patients.

downward spiral revisited

debilitating depression (noun) : a mood disorder characterized by one's feelings of sadness, unhappiness and misery that interfere with one's ability to engage in normal daily activities
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Just in case anyone's forgotten about this dark cloud that lurks out there for so many! Go cheer someone up today!

disregard for boundaries

boundary (noun) : the line separating you from me
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In exploring the concept of setting boundaries for myself and of the disregard for boundaries, I realized that instead of looking at other people's actions around the disregard for boundaries, I'd be better off investigating my own.

Most definitions of this concept will describe when boundaries are crossed and will give advice on 'setting boundaries' so that other people don't cross them. But I think the real issue is setting your boundaries and then making sure that YOU don't cross them. Maybe I'm just a slow learner.

Take for example when you feel taken advantage of or taken for granted or resentful when you've been generous and another person hasn't reciprocated (or even been appreciative). Damn that person, right? Wrong! This isn't a sign that that person has disregarded your boundaries - it's a sign you've disregarded your own by going overboard in doing things for someone else.

Sometimes this happens with people at work and sometimes with people you love. Loads of good intentions: the job needs to get done, the person needs help, it's easier to do it yourself, you want to satisfy a loved one's needs. Also a few not so good intentions: you are the only one who can do it correctly, you want to maintain control over the work or the person, you don't want to feel guilty or hurtful to a loved one.

So rather than blame those other people or feel sorry for yourself because 'the investment didn't pay off', it's time to recognize when you are crossing those lines you set and step back and think of what you're doing and why you're doing it before doing something that might be considered 'overboard'.

Wish me luck!