People Pleasing Syndrome

people pleasing syndrome (noun) : the effort one goes through merely to become a doormat
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Disclaimer: "People Pleasing Syndrome" is not something that either I or my therapist could claim I have (or even have knowledge of). I'm sure that he would say I'm more likely to have "People Pissing Off Syndrome" and he wouldn't be entirely wrong there. But that's another blog posting.

I wasn't even sure that this was a psychological disorder until I saw that it already had been published as such in more than several books such as:

- The Disease to Please: Curing the People-Pleasing Syndrome

- Too Nice for Your Own Good: How to Stop Making 9 Self-Sabotaging Mistakes

- When I Say No, I Feel Guilty: How to Cope, Using the Skills of Systematic Assertive Therapy

Background: I've been away this month and have had sporadic access to the Internet; hence my lack of October posts. Despite being away, the only comments I've had to the blog were somewhat negative. One person asking about my "missing voice" and another looking for something a bit more cheery.

Post: Rather than risk needing more therapy in trying to please my apparently very small readership base, I'm going to stick with what I've got and improve upon that. As for a response to my small but vocal readers, that will be in the aforementioned "People Pissing Off" post!

Depression - part 2

reality (noun) : the thing for people who can't handle drugs
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So says Lily Tomlin, anyway.

Depression

anti-depressant (noun) : the pill that keeps one optimistic about one's life
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Of course, after common unhappiness comes depression. Some embrace it alone, simply as a fact of life; others drag everyone around down with them as a part of life.

Freud believed that depression involved loss and the guilt and self-criticism related to that loss, but that doesn't explain all types and forms of depression. (And since his goal was simply "common unhappiness" - a concept depressing in itself - I'm not sure how much weight I give to this.)

Speaking of depressing, I read a great quote about the unexamined life - although it might not be worth living, the examination itself might take the place of living.

Now if that's not enough to stop therapy, I don't know what is.

Common Unhappiness - part 2

common unhappiness (noun) : 1. ordinary sadness, as opposed to hysterical misery; 2. an acceptable level of misery; see also, Dante's first rung of hell
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According to Dr. Freud there is an acceptable level of unhappiness for humans. I think this is a therapist's way of justifying his/her inability to really "cure" someone through talk therapy. This idea goes back to my earliest posting and the reasons for ending my own therapy.

But Freud's assessment is a brilliant business model for psychotherapy. Like the elected official who says there is an "acceptable level of corruption" in politics or the oilman who says there is an "acceptable level of pollution" in drilling, this self-serving explanation prevents the examination (and therefore the possibility) of eliminating unhappiness by making it part of our DNA.

No wonder people drink!