help-rejecting complainer (noun) : the frustrating individual in your life who constantly (and often needlessly) complains yet refuses to take steps to change
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A recent suggestion from a reader on this topic, and an acquaintance who seemed depressed but rejected all suggestions to get help or improve her life, prompted a little research on this type of personality. And of course, this is a "type" of personality.
After much research (and reading all the references to The Happiness Project in the blogosphere), the question comes down to whether a person is a true ‘help-rejecting complainer’ (HRC) or just someone who needed a little sympathy. The answer - it depends on the consistency of the behavior.
Those who side more with the HRCs maintain that not every complaint needs a solution offered; sometimes a person just wants someone to listen and perhaps offer a bit of sympathy. (So, they suggest, instead of saying, "maybe you should do this" say instead, “you sound really down/sad/frustrated/etc.; what are you going to do about it?”)
Most likely those folks are just whiners themselves. Because the true HRC will say that nothing will help and there’s nothing to be done about it. End Of Story.
And that’s when you agree with them and prove them right by no longer being available to listen. Unless you're a bartender and it's your job.
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