transfer what?

transference (noun) : in psychoanalysis, the path of least resistance
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In delving into Freud’s five types of resistance, transference seems the most innocuous. It occurs when the analysand unconsciously shifts emotions associated with one person (yes, parents always are a good choice here) to another person, especially to the analyst.

The thing is, transference is a big part of therapy and gives your therapist tons of information about what you actually feel even if you're not aware of it. Nothing wrong with that!

But I’m thinking that Freud bucketed it with other forms of resistance because unless and until you recognize what you’re doing, you are resisting feeling the actual feeling (anger, for example) and you are resisting associating the feeling with the right person (who probably is your mother).

And of course, when done outside of therapy (or “off the couch” as I like to say), the result often is a misdirected, overly excessive expression of emotion that leads to dangerous consequences, especially in Las Vegas. (Think Brittany Spears and her quickie wedding or Mike Tyson’s bites of Evandor Holyfield’s ears.)

resistance

resistance (noun) : the phenomena that analysands will keep hidden aspects of themselves from the therapist in order to defend against worse feelings (aka the reason why therapy takes so long)
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We’ve all either been there or know someone there – holding onto something or someone that keeps us stuck in an unhealthy situation. And somehow the fear of NOT having that to hold onto, and the comfort of the known (albeit unhealthy), blocks movement from it. This “gain from illness” theory apparently is only one of five types of resistance, according to Freud.

BTW, did you know that our friend Dr Freud is all the rage in China? http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/10/10/AR2010101004051.html

The other forms may be less clear as “resistance” but make a bit of sense if you associate them with folks you know. Like the person who misdirects anger or responsibility onto someone or something else – their friends, their therapist, their boss. This is the “transference” type of resistance. Outside of the therapist office, this usually results in the eventual loss of friends and jobs. (Blaming your mother doesn’t count here, because that’s truth as opposed to transference.)

Or perhaps you’ve encountered someone who doesn’t get angry or upset (or feel much of anything). This is the “repression” type of resistance and is a particularly fun one because it results in passive aggressive behaviour, always is a treasured experience.

Another form is the “repetition compulsion” type of resistance. You know, that person who keeps doing the same thing hoping that the result will change and who appears surprised when it doesn’t? Again, outside the therapist’s office (and maybe inside it if you don’t face your therapist during the session), this usually results in the rolling of eyes and the thought of ‘duh!’

And Freud's last form of resistance (apparently stemming from guilt) - “self sabotage”, the form that makes us cringe whether inside or outside the therapist’s office. When conducted outside of it, there will be immediate bad consequences, like contracting a disease; when conducted inside of it, it's almost the same - there will be years of more therapy.

Acting Out

acting out (verb) : the process of expressing unconscious emotional conflicts or feelings through aggressive, violent or disruptive behavior that is especially effective when done in public in front of one's parents or directed towards one's therapist
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My readers tell me that I sound bitter in this blog.

I suppose that's true. Bitter towards my parents. All parents, really. You shouldn't procreate until you understand that you will make mistakes and your children will suffer for those mistakes and require some sort of therapy.

Bitter towards my therapist for all the work and the cost. But you can't become a therapist and not expect that. (It's called transference for those of you who live unexamined lives - a topic for a future entry.)

Some psychologists believe that bitterness should be considered a mental disorder, but isn't that like those oil company owners (that's you David Koch) creating and funding non-profit think tanks that fight the concept of global warming? Suspicious at best.

See: www.psychologytoday.com/blog/side-effects/200905/bitterness-the-next-mental-disorder